Rapp versus Spacey

We live in a very peculiar world when, after a trial, you need to sit down and write long explanations as to why it was the right verdict. You know, without a justice system what do we have? What are we?

We have social media and we have people with the metaphorical torches and pitchforks, ready to burn and maim, ready destroy, harm and crucify. How are we different than ancient times or medieval times? Mass hysteria with an added dose of snooping and gossipping and self righteously patting themselves on the shoulder for picking the side of the victim – survivor and making heroes out of unfounded accusations, that’s social media.

The presumption of innocence is a legal principle that every person accused of any crime is considered innocent until proven guilty. The legal burden of proof is thus on the prosecution, which must present compelling evidence to the trier of fact eg. judge or jury. If the prosecution does not prove the charges true, then the person is acquitted of the charges.

The opposite system is a presumption of guilt. Or social media.

Yesterday was the conclusion of the Rapp versus Spacey trial, with the case being dismissed by the Jury. Which means the plaintiff didn’t present compelling evidence to prove the accusation.

Earlier in the week, Judge Kaplan had dismissed the intentional infliction distress and kept the battery claim.

I won’t go into specifics as I did with the Nantucket case, because the problem is social media, it’s people with verified accounts, public figures if you prefer; journalists, artists, influencers etc

The Jury didn’t believe the accusation. Social media is enraged. We have reached an era where the only court verdicts we consider right are the ones we agree with, the rest are wrong. The thing though is, the Jurors work under a set of rules, Presumption of Innocence is the cornerstone. The plaintiff has to prove their case beyond doubt, more so in criminal cases than civil ones.

In social media, thousands of people decided the system is broken, that the Jurors were paid from the defendant, all kinds of dangerous words are shared so easily on twitter these days.

To start with the case, Anthony Rapp accused Kevin Spacey that in 1986 he was at a party at Spacey’s home and he was bored so he went to Spacey’s bedroom to watch tv. There, after the guests left, Kevin Spacey picked him up like a bridegroom with a bride, laid him on a bed and moved his weight on top of him.

I was frozen, pinned underneath him, like a deer in the headlights,” Rapp testified on the second day of a civil trial in which Spacey, 63, is accused of making a sexual advance on Rapp when Rapp was 14, in the mid-1980s.

After the alleged encounter, Rapp told the court, “I tried to calm myself and to make sense of what had happened”. Rapp said that, as a child, he had reasoned: “I guess he’s gay so that kind of explains why he’s climbing on top of me.

I was thinking very much that I wanted to leave. I was thinking about how do I recover from this upsetting and frightening experience.”

Let’s go to Buzzfeed in October 30, 2017 and his interview to his friend (remember this, friend) Adam M. Vary.

«Rapp said he encountered Spacey again at one of those post-show functions, when a 17-year-old friend from Joliet was visiting him in New York. «And he was like, ‘Hey! Hi! Come join us!'» Rapp said. Spacey then invited both boys to join him at the popular nightclub Limelight, even though, as Rapp explained, “I looked younger than 14.”»

Buzzfeed

In retrospect, his 17 year-old friend from Joliet is 19 year old (at the time) John Barrowman who testified in the trial. In case I haven’t made it clear, Anthony Rapp lied about his friend’s age in his interview with Vary, making him 2 years younger in that age between minor and adult.

A few days later, according to Rapp, Spacey invited him to a party he hosted at his place.

«When he arrived at Spacey’s apartment, Rapp quickly realized that he was the only nonadult there — which, again, did not worry him, since he so often had found himself in similar situations as a child actor. The bigger issue: «I didn’t know anyone,» he said. «And I was quickly kind of bored.»

Rapp said he ended up wandering into the bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed, and watching TV well past midnight.

At some point, Rapp said he turned to see Spacey standing at the bedroom door. And that’s when he first realized that everyone else had left the party. They were alone.

My memory was that I thought, Oh, everybody’s gone. Well, yeah, I should probably go home,” Rapp said. Spacey, he recalled, “sort of stood in the doorway, kind of swaying. My impression when he came in the room was that he was drunk.” Rapp doesn’t remember Spacey saying anything to him. Instead, Rapp said, “He picked me up like a groom picks up the bride over the threshold. But I don’t, like, squirm away initially, because I’m like, ‘What’s going on?’ And then he lays down on top of me.”

“He was trying to seduce me,” Rapp said. “I don’t know if I would have used that language. But I was aware that he was trying to get with me sexually.”

Rapp recalled this all happening — Spacey appearing at the door, coming into the room, picking him up, and putting him on the bed — in one clumsy action, with Spacey landing at a slight angle on top of him. He said Spacey “was, like, pressing into me,” and that he remembers Spacey “tightening his arms.” But while he can’t recall exactly how long Spacey remained on top of him, Rapp said he was able to “squirm” away after a short period.

After pushing Spacey off him, Rapp remembered he was able to step into the bathroom and close the door. «I was like, ‘What is happening?’” he said. “I saw on the counter next to the sink a picture of him having his arm around a man. So I think on some level I was like, Oh. He’s gay. I guess. Then I opened the door, and I was like, ‘OK, I’m going to go home now.’ He followed me to the front door of the apartment, and as I opened the door to leave, he was leaning on the front door[frame]. And he was like, ‘Are you sure you wanna go?’ I said, ‘Yes, good night,’ and then I did leave.»

As he walked home, “My head was spinning,” Rapp said. “I have a memory of turning around and [thinking], What was that? What am I supposed to do with it? What does it mean?”

buzzfeed

This is the accusation, this is the reason Anthony Rapp claimed he suffered PTSD and asked for 40 million dollars, for intentional infliction of emotional distress and battery. (Rapp’s sworn testimony at the end of this entry)

What did the Jury hear?

John Barrowman, Rapp’s 19 (and not 17) year old friend, said that while Rapp was in the bathroom he and Spacey were on the bed where Spacey had «playfully» pushed him on and they remained there, with Kevin’s arm draped over him and they talked. He said he never felt threatened and that he was quite «flattered» by an older man’s interest.

Reminder, this is 1986. Both Barrowman and Spacey are adults. Any age gap discussion you read in social media was not in discussion back then and an 19 year old man is an adult.

“I was a big boy. I was also, actually, to be honest, quite flattered that an older man was showing any interest in me.”

He also admitted it was “probably not the best [situation] to be in if Anthony came out.

“I felt no threat whatsoever,” Barrowman said under oath.

Barrowman also said that it was a decade later in London when he first heard of Rapp’s allegation and he added that Rapp spoke without disdain nor anger over what had happened.

In the trial, the Jurors were shown a floor plan of the studio apartment Spacey lived at the time.

  • At some point, Rapp said he turned to see Spacey standing at the bedroom door.
  • Rapp recalled this all happening — Spacey appearing at the door, coming into the room.

Spacey’s apartment had no bedroom. It was a studio, with NO bedroom, no walls, no door.

Rapp said he ended up wandering into the bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed, and watching TV well past midnight.

I repeat. No bedroom.

Rapp said he went to a party, he knew no one, got bored and went to the bedroom to watch TV.

75% of the above is a lie. He couldn’t leave the party and go to the bedroom to watch tv because there was no bedroom. This is not a detail he misremembers and the rest can be real. This is how he claims he spent the night. In a bedroom that didn’t exist.

Spacey also claimed he didn’t host any party and considering no guest came forward in the last five years to claim he was in that party, I’m inclined to believe Spacey.

At the time, Rapp was starring in a play «Precious Sons» in which there is a scene with Ed Harris’ character picking up Rapp’s character bridal style where takes place everything he described that happened between himself and Spacey (there is a photo in the buzzfeed article).

In Precious Sons, Harris’ character mistakes young Rapp for his wife, climbs on top of him and “attempts to get with him sexually,” Rapp said.

So, no bedroom, no party, no guests… just assault in the same way he performed every night, 8 times a week.

Is it so weird the Jury didn’t believe him?

In the trial, Rapp admitted he slapped his mother hard when he was a young teen. And here I will direct you to Ana Chevalier’s report about Rapp’s testimony. She has read and included parts of Rapp’s memoir «Without you» where Rapp admitted to have brutally beaten his partner. Seriously, go read it, she numbers more lies told by Rapp in his crusade against Spacey. I think in his memoir, it also becomes clear that at 14, Rapp wasn’t as innocent sexually as his narration of his allegation against Spacey suggests. No, it doen’s mean a sexual assault is justified, if a sexual assault is proven the culprit should be found guilty. However, it wasn’t proven…

…and here come the social media experts, who know none of the facts, or don’t care about them as long as they applaud their «hero».

  • One argument against the verdict is that he’s been saying his story for 30 years. It doesn’t actually prove it’s not a lie though…

To answer that, for one, how did he use to tell his story?

Barrowman gives a reply, «with no disdain and no anger».

The Advocate interview that is often invoked in 2002.

In 2001 the Advocate and Anthony Rapp considered Spacey’s right to his sexual identity was more important than Rapp’s experience.

«In keeping with The Advocate’s ‘no outing’ policy, when Rapp related the entire incident to writer Dennis Hensley in 2001, we removed Spacey’s name and identifying details. Rapp understood the decision, and he didn’t share the story again via the news media until now.”

Up until 2017, Rapp’s telling of the story was a manifestation of his distaste of Spacey being in the closet. It was his way to prove how he knew Spacey was gay. Of course, it was not the only way he could have known that, was it? Clearly, among his own people, his colleagues, Spacey wasn’t hiding. But the story gave Rapp the added bonus of being the interest of the ‘getting there’ actor who was in the closet.

Rapp, in 2017 in his buzzfeed interview calls that experience a «violation»,

and in 2018 he says:

«I knew that he was very popular, and certainly a respected actor, but at the same time, I knew I was trying to protect people. And I was incredibly gratified by the enormous wave of support.»

He had no interest of protecting people for 20 odd years though, did he? When there wasn’t MeToo that made heroes out of victims, when survivors weren’t worshipped and rewarded Rapp had no interest being one. Just when he had something to gain out of it.

And in 2020 he asks 40 million dollars for ntentional infliction of emotional distress and battery. Not a symbolic amount of money of 100 thousand for example, no. 40 million.

Does this mean he was telling the truth though? Or was it the jealousy and anger against a man who, while living his sexuality open, he hid it where in mattered (the media & public) and he had one of the most successful careers of the 1990s and 2000s?

  • Spacey’s apology in twitter is another argument against the verdict.

Spacey described a conversation with publicists who told him he had to apologize and that he couldn’t push back because he’d be viewed as a “victim-blamer.”

Question: Did your team tell you that you had to express respect for Mr. Rapp and regret?

Spacey: Yes. But I insisted that we use the word “if.” Take it seriously but not factually.

It didn’t save him, did it? The mob was out for blood. Victimhood was more important than outing a guy with force. Times had changed.

  • People also bring up the number of the accusers, but not the type of the accusations.

Many of them are anonymous, others consider sexual assault a hand on their thigh (that may or may not happened), a crude joke, a hand on the shoulder. He’s been accused of flashing a waiter his penis and more.

Question is: how serious are the accusations and how many of them are actually true?

Because in the Nantucket case, the accuser pleaded the fifth and withdrew the accusation after losing his mobile phone.

Because Rapp couldn’t prove his case because reality (lack of bedroom walls and party guests) contradicted his story.

And these people brought their stories to the court.

And lied. Why wouldn’t other people lie?

Right here, I’d like to add something that happened in the trial, regards one more accuser and it was proven he also lied:

A thing that hasn’t been talked much in the Kevin Spacey trial and it should is Andrew Holtzman’s testimony. He shared his own experience in late 2017/early 2018 in various magazines. He’s one of the 30 accusers:

We now learnt «he’s a friend of Rapp’s» & his explanation of how he knew Spacey was his attacker was a lie.

Andrew Holtzman, a friend of Rapp’s, testified that Spacey had made a similar move on him years earlier.

Holtzman, now 68, testified that he was working in his office at the New York Shakespeare Festival in summer 1981 when Spacey entered and sat at a spare desk used by actors and others who worked for the company of seven theaters.

Holtzman said Spacey said nothing when he entered the office in a windbreaker, “tight blue jeans” and carrying a leather shoulder bag, but he recalled knowing him because he had seen his picture in the program for a play, Henry IV, in which Spacey was performing at the time.

As he finished a telephone call, Holtzman stood up at his desk and a sexually aroused Spacey walked over to him, lifted him up by the crotch and put him on the desk, Holtzman recalled.

“What are you doing? Get off of me!” he said he told Spacey.

“I could feel his erection on [me],” Holtzman said.

Minutes later, Spacey got off him, grabbed his windbreaker and bag and stormed from the office, Holtzman said, adding: “He was angry.”

On cross-examination, a lawyer for Spacey showed Holtzman six pages of a program for Henry IV and Holtzman said he did not see Spacey’s photograph

guardian

Let’s repeat this, shall we?

but he recalled knowing him because he had seen his picture in the program for a play, Henry IV, in which Spacey was performing at the time

a lawyer for Spacey showed Holtzman six pages of a program for Henry IV and Holtzman said he did not see Spacey’s photograph

Holtzman’s involvement is, for me, the worst thing that came out of this trial. I find it disturbing and sinister.

In 11/11/2017, Holtzman giving an exclusive to cncbc had said:

«I don’t wish him ill, I want him to get well, he needs help. He’s a talented guy but I can’t see how people can go and watch him (on screen) without seeing Kevin Spacey ‘the sexual-abuse guy.’ I don’t know how anyone gets over that.«

And he wasn’t even certain if the man he accused was actually the one who assaulted him – if the incident happened. He might have just tried to support his friend, but he got room in magazines to tell his story (sorry, should I say his truth?), his story wasn’t questioned and he’s one of those accusers that came in numbers. A friend of Rapp’s. First thought to guilt-trip the audience.

So, three in three men/accusers who testified in court have been caught in lies.

And they are willing to lie in court. Why wouldn’t they be willing to lie to journalists and magazines? Why should the rest be believed?

Links:

In sworn testimony, Rapps describes the alleged event the jury didn’t believe in as follows.

[Kevin Spacey] “approached me, and he picked me up; he put his arm beneath me, because I was sitting on the edge of the bed. So he put his hand under my butt and down my legs to my knees, like scooped me like that and held me like a bride in that famous image…he laid me down on the bed on my back, and he laid on top of me…it felt like drunk and clumsy… his full weight was on my body…His hands were like behind my back clutching my shoulders…pressing his weight into me. I don’t recall him saying anything…was able to make the decision to squirm away…he wasn’t grinding into me, he wasn’t caressing me, it was just sort of dead weight and holding me.

Anthony Rapp

Now that this is out of the picture, Spacey faces a court in the UK, a criminal court case with far more serious accusations. That is a different case the conclusion of which is left to be seen. It does not conflate this case.

The accusers are different, their evidence is different, the result will be awaited.

A.K., November 21, 2021

Was Mads Mikkelsen harassed in social media?

It depends on what we consider harassment. I am not all day on the internet looking up what people say about him. A year ago, when Mr. Mikkelsen accepted the role previously played by Mr. Depp, I put on mute a great many accounts that tweeted in support of Justice for Johnny Depp (which I as well support) and then called Mads Mikkelsen names.

I haven’t seen death threats or anything as unsavoury as that *other people claim they have, but I haven’t so I don’t take those into consideration. Basically, people lie, and people love to throw oil in pre-existing fire.

I had been extremely vocal in defence of Johnn Depp up until a year ago, until the UK libel case verdict. I didn’t stop being vocal because I believed it was right thus I had been wrong all those years. No, at the time, I planned to take the verdict apart and show what it meant and whether it was a fair one or not. Not that I am an expert or not, but sometimes pullling apart something you disagree with puts things into a better perspective. Why did something like this happen? Is there an explanation I don’t get? But, I didn’t because I got fed up.

The point of that verdict, and despite my own opinion on the matter that still remains the same to this day, was that

«Mr Depp, 57, sued the paper after it claimed he assaulted his ex-wife Amber Heard, which he denies. The Sun said the article was accurate.

Judge Mr Justice Nicol said the Sun had proved what was in the article to be «substantially true».

He found 12 of the 14 alleged incidents of domestic violence had occurred.

Mr Depp’s lawyer called the ruling «perverse» and said the Hollywood actor intends to appeal.»

Unfortunately, but as is the norm in these cases, he lost the appeal as well.

And now let’s go back to Mads Mikkelsen.

Mads Mikkelsen replaced Johnny Depp as Gellert Grindelwald in the Fantastic Beasts movie series.

As expected, Johnny Depp fans were not entused by WB’s decision to ask Mr. Depp to step down and have Mr. Mikkelsen replace him. And became vocal about it. Their attitude towards Mads Mikkelsen under these circumstances couldn’t be favourable either.

Those first days after his name was announced, I lost quite a few of the online friends I had made along the way. Why? Because people that I have grown to respect had started to behave in the same way I had previously criticised in many different fandoms.

Is it harassment to not like Mads Mikkelsen and be vocal about it? Of course not.
What if someone hasn’t seen him in almost anything and still compare him to their favourite actor? Again, nothing wrong with that. It’s a free world. I understand it, especially under the circumstances.

Of course, I couldn’t see it and not disagree so I had to mute those people. Nothing personal, but I love Mads Mikkelsen’s acting for about a decade now.

So, so far no harassment. Just protecting my own feelings against the feelings of others who had found a target for their disappointment. All in logical ways.

Celebrities are not unknown to be criticised in every possible way in social media and to be honest, I doubt Mads Mikkelsen cares about it. He is one of the very few Danes who have a Hollywood career and that says a lot. Whatever role he gets in Hollywood, it’s a gift for him.

The ones who do care are those who like him. And those are who they are hurt when they see the comments hurled at him.

And what comments are that?

I already mentioned about the acting. «Bland, lazy, looking like Mads Mikkelsen, Warmart version of the character» are just some of the descriptions used, and I alongside every other Mads Mikkelsen fan look at those and just laugh. Or someone else may get angry. Again, emotions and feelings.

Then, the comments about his looks. What’s so bad to be compared with Elon Musk someone may ask. Hm… well it depends. Imagine this «I love you as much as I love Donald Trump» uttered by both James Woods and Alec Baldwin. Would it mean the same thing? Musk is abhorred in the Depp supporting community and if anyone compares you with him, it’s not a compliment.

However is that harassment? Doubtful.

It goes down to taste. Some people may find Mikkelsen attractive, others may not. The same applies to Depp. And every other actor alive out there. Every other person out there. It is low blow, criticising someone’s appearance, not very politically correct either, but hey! emotions.

So, why on earth am I writing this?

To get it out of my system, I guess.

And because these are not the reasons I lost online friends, or stopped being vocal in Depp’s case.

It wasn’t even the «I hope he meets a woman like Heard and have his life destroyed» comments that I saw (made thankfully by people I didn’t know).

It was the attacks at his integrity and his morals. And this is what I consider social media defamation. And I take issue with that.

In the beginning, when Mads was asked about getting the role he said he had no clue and was not in discussion about it. And then he got the role.

That was the first thing to be criticised. We can’t be sure if he had been in discussions at the time, if he had already planned to accept or not, but that instantly labelled him as a liar, after it became official he’d be the new Grindewald, a few days later.

But, at the same time, and as they criticise Mr. Mikkelsen assuming he lied, they lie as well.

People decided to boycott the movie and Warner Bros, as is their right. Good for them, I say. But then it became something like a mantra the «they fired a victim of abuse and kept his abuser in Aquaman» and every actor who doesn’t speak against it is a traitor and harms all victims of abuse.

Imagine how that goes for the actor who replaced Depp. Oh boy! oh boy.

Times got a bit quiet as time passed, my timeline with all the muting peaceful again, and then there was the movie teaser in December 10th and the trailer in December 12th and all hell broke lose again.

So, I tweet something.

«Anyone who thinks Mads Mikkelsen is not one hell of an actor is wrong.
Just so you know.
«

No Johnny Depp mention, no Fantastic Beasts mention, no case mention, no replacement, no comparison. Just a Mads Mikkelsen is a great actor.

And I get replies. Most of them about Johnn Depp and Mikkelsen replacing them in FB. Not all of them negative or in any way bad about him, but definitely in favour of Depp.

And there were replies that -at the time- were not worthy of my time. I realised pretty early I am not going to agree with them, and they are not going to agree with me, so what is the point?

However, as time passed, Mikkelsen’s IG account was hacked and disappeared for a couple of days -which was wrongly described as Mads deactivating his account because of hateful comments by Depp’s fanbase and this idea was taken by Ms. Heard’s side to perpetuate their own lies.

And that last one, Ms Heard and her side roaming the internet to find something to make Depp look guilty is the reason.

The fact the majority of us believe Johnny Depp is a victim of both domestic violence & the libel case fiasco in UK has led his supporters to believe they can behave like uncontrollable bullies with the moral high ground, openly hating/disrespecting Mads Mikkelsen & others. Because the rest of us are careful not to call them out and bring them to the attention of the other side.

So, if someone replies to me about Mads’ integrity and morals, I won’t take it kindly.

[x] and there were more, but I’m not interested in the rest of them. I would expect the common decency to not reply to me if you have nothing good to say, especially because I didn’t mention Depp, but I am aware that is too much to ask.

However, this is how the story goes, and why I started this entry with the verdict. The audios that show «Ms. Heard admitting to hitting Mr. Depp» (links to daily mail) came out in January 2020. Photos of an injured Mr. Depp came out shortly after (I think, or shortly before).

In all that time, from January to November, eleven months, WB didn’t fire Mr. Depp. Which is what would have happened if he was fired because he is an abuse victim. Notice here that I don’t dispute the thought that he is a DV victim, but that he was fired because he is a victim.

A trial took place in UK in the summer of 2020. He was still attached to play in FB3 his role.

He had just started to film his scenes when the verdict (wrong, yes, I will repeat I consider it a fiasco of English justice) was given. And it was against him. And it was written in a way that made him look guilty. It was about a libel written by the Sun, and the Judge took it upon himself to give a verdict condemning Depp.

And he was asked to resign, he got fired. Say it any way you want.

The thing is he was fired after the libel case gave every newspaper in UK the right to call him a wife beater. And of course, of course, they did. They did call him a wife beater.

So when Mads took the role, he wished both Depp and Heard the best. Right after the verdict. Right after it.

That was his crime.

That’s why he lacks in integrity and morals, I guess.

Because he had to spend a half decade of his life in the internet reading court documents and being absolutely certain Depp was a victim despite what media said. And he didn’t.

Mads is European. He cares about his work, the roles he’s going to play, his family, his dog and football, I think.

And in my humble opinion if you dogpile on him saying he lacks in morals and integrity and you happen to harm his future prospects at finding a job you are online harassing him. If in answer to his fans accusation that he deactivated his account because of the hate he received you reply with more questioning of his integrity such as that he deactivated his account to present himself as a victim, you attempt to descredit him and his character. With absolutely no evidence to support this opinion.

It’s a situation in which Johnny’s supporters believe Mikkelsen harmed Depp while he’s a victim. Disregarding the fact Mads took the job right after the verdict, I think it’s interesting to see the dynamics between Johnny Depp’s large fanbase (not everyone of course) dogpiling Mads Mikkelsen for accepting a job in the middle of a pandemic.

And Mads’ fans watching while that happens.

Some Awards are better than others

Oscars 2020

The movie I loved in 2019 was Pain and Glory (Dolor y Gloria). It won nothing, but two nominations, one for Best International Feature Picture and one for Best Male Actor in a Leading Role. Parasite won the first, Joaquin Phoenix won the latter for his performance in Joker. In situations like this, we all create a list of the “deserving” who got “snubbed”. It looks a bit in bad faith though, you know? It makes me feel like a 5 year old that got the candy stolen from them. And I haven’t been five in a very long time.

Now that the Oscars are done, I will soon sit down and write why I absolutely adore Almodóvar’s latest piece of art without trying to sell it to you who already give me the honour of reading me. But, that’s for another day.

Today I will discuss Parasite “making history” in the American Academy Awards by being the first foreign language movie winning Best Motion Picture. Unsurprisingly, it also won Best International Motion Picture as well because how couldn’t it?

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Imperfect victims and PR campaigns

How to begin this?

Lets start with the definition of Domestic Abuse:

“Domestic abuse is a pattern of coercive, controlling behavior that is a pervasive life-threatening crime affecting people in all our communities regardless of gender, age, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, religion, social standing and immigration status.

Abuse is not love. It is one person in a relationship having power and control over the other person.

Domestic violence takes many forms: physical; emotional; economic; stalking and harassment; and sexual.
Physical Abuse
Physical abuse does not always leave marks or cause permanent damage:
Scratching, biting, grabbing or spitting.
Shoving and pushing.
Slapping and punching.
Throwing objects to hurt or intimidate you.
Destroying possessions or treasured objects.
Hurting or threatening to hurt your children and/or pets.
Disrupting your sleeping patterns to make you feel exhausted.
Burning.
Strangling.
Attacking or threatening to attack with a weapon.
Any threats or actual attempts to kill you.
Emotional/Psychological Abuse
Emotional/psychological abuse is a behavior your partner uses to control you or damage your emotional well-being. It can be verbal or non-verbal:
Name-calling, mocking, intimidation and making humiliating remarks or gestures.
Yelling in your face or standing is a menacing way.
Manipulating your children.
Telling you what to do or where you can and cannot go.
Placing little value on what you say.
Interrupting, changing topics, not listening or responding, and twisting your words.
Putting you down in front of other people.
Saying negative things about your friends and family.
Preventing or making it difficult for you to see friends or relatives
Cheating or being overly jealous.
Shifting responsibility for abusive behavior by blaming others or saying you caused it.
Monitoring your phone calls, texts, car and computer use.
Economic/Financial Abuse
Economic/financial abuse happens when the abuser makes a victim entirely financially dependent on the abuser, with no power or say in the relationship:
Forbidding the victim to work or attend school.
Sabotaging employment opportunities by giving the victim a black eye or other visible injury prior to an important meeting.
Jeopardizing employment by stalking or harassing the victim at the workplace.
Denying access to a vehicle or damaging the vehicle so that the victim cannot get to work.
Sabotaging educational opportunities by destroying class assignments.
Withholding money or giving an allowance.
Denying access to bank accounts.
Hiding family assets.
Running up debt in the victim’s name.
Stalking and Harassment
Stalking and harassment can happen between strangers or in relationships, where the abusive partner or ex demands your time even after you make it clear you do not want contact:
Making unwanted visits or sending you unwanted messages (voicemails, text messages, emails, etc.).
Following you, including installing GPS tracking software on your car or cell phone without your knowledge or consent.
Checking up on you constantly.
Embarrassing you in public.
Refusing to leave when asked.
Sexual Abuse:
Sexual abuse does occur in committed relationships and marriages.”

What is Domestic Violence?

I don’t hide anything. All the above is Domestic Abuse.

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Vulture Did the Unthinkable

it managed to make me dislike film reviewers even more than I already did. It takes a lot of of effort to do that to a person who grew up dreaming of being a film reviewer.

Alas… here we are.

vulture

It’s there. That’s what you read, that’s what they supposedly did.

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Scorsese, marvel and

when an opinion is not an opinion.

I was the first to defend James Cameron’s right to have an opinion different to most people. So, someone may be questioning me seeing as I don’t seem to defend Martin Scorsese’s right to have a different opinion in my twitter account.

While I like Scorsese’s movies more than I like Cameron’s, the truth is the latter gave a well reasoned critique of a movie and its importance to the overall issue of feminism. Plus, he was right about how Sarah Connor was a better feminist icon than Diana Prince. He didn’t criticise the movie per se -that’s not his job after all- but the commercial approach the company and media took to advertise it.

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Kevin Spacey and the Nantucket case

Or to be more accurate, the Nantucket case was one woman’s crusade against a famous man who supposedly allegedly harmed her son in a sexual way.

Prosecutors announced Wednesday, July 17, 2019 afternoon that they will be dropping charges against Kevin Spacey, who was accused of groping an 18-year-old man at a Nantucket bar in 2016.

The reason why you are reading this is because [I wrote it] after the case was dismissed with prejudice I woke up to at least two – there are more, but I didn’t read all of them- articles about how Kevin Spacey wasn’t exonerated regardless of the DA’s decision.

In Variety, Caroline Framke wrote:

“Just because the charges were dropped, however, doesn’t mean that many won’t (or shouldn’t) be wary of working with him again.”

[…]

“Sexual assault cases are so rarely taken seriously at the time the crime is allegedly committed that sometimes, telling the story on their own terms is all a survivor can do. Anyone who believes in that tried and true fact will just believe that Spacey has escaped tangible consequences for abusing his power once again.”

In the Atlantic, Spencer Kornhaber wrote:

“’Help me’.
Among the text messages sent by a then–18-year-old busboy on the night in 2016 when he alleges Kevin Spacey sexually assaulted him, that one sentiment—a plea for rescue—recurred at least five times.”

[…]

“The truth is that the case, and the dozens of other accusations against Spacey, demonstrate why #MeToo is not only—or even primarily—a courtroom battle.”

If you have read any of my blog entries, you know I strongly support the innocent until proven guilty doctrine as a fundamental legal and human right. There are many discussions taking place in academia on whether the presumption of innocence is a substantive human right, and thus not merely a procedural one, and finds them wanting, according to Richard L. Lippke’s Taming the Presumption of Innocence.

Nothing in regards to the Presumption of Innocence and the Media though, which is my main issue.

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May I still like American Beauty?

Sir? Madam? May I still like American Beauty?

AB 1

David Klion is a writer and editor in Brooklyn whose work has appeared in The Nation, The New York Times, The Guardian, Jewish Currents, and other publications.

Well….

I don’t know, I guess…. not?

I watched American Beauty as a teenager; a female teenager, I should mention, sometimes in the early ’00s. Sadly, it’s been one of my favourite films ever since. I’m not sad that it is my favourite movie, but I am sad for people attempting to make me feel guilty for liking it. There are many reasons you like a movie and not all of them have to do with a right/wrong directions of ethics and values (despite what you’ve been told the last decade), or with fluffy, cute warm feelings, or even -gasp- with representation! I’ll leave Disney and co. to that and their need to get more money through manipulation of people’s low self-esteem.

I like movies for multiple reasons:

  • Guy Richie’s Sherlock Holmes films are two of my all time favourite movies, they are my «hurt/comfort» movies.
  • Mike Leigh’s Naked is my «uncomfortable as hell» favourite movie. There are times I don’t even like it, but the feeling I get by the end of the movie is too strong not to acknowledge.
  • Cohen Brothers’ The man who wasn’t there is my go to «black & white elegance aesthetic» favourite movie.
  • American Beauty is one of my favourite «bittersweet movies with a complex, male protagonist». Neil Jordan’s The Crying Game is another one in this list.

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We, You and the Victim

“Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.”
Aldous Huxley, Complete Essays 2

Showbiz and victimhood

There are good victims and then there are bad victims.
There are the victims we want and there are the victims we don’t want.
There are accusations we accept with no evidence.
There are accusations we don’t accept despite the evidence.

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Johnny Depp versus #metoo

Misleading headlines is a must! You should try it.

But, not really, no. It’s just that some elements of movements -that could be called hypocritical- have come out to raise their ugly heads ever since Mr. Depp has sued his ex wife for defamation.

  • What is #metoo?

The Me Too movement (or #MeToo movement), with a large variety of local and international alternative names, is a movement against sexual harassment and sexual assault.  The movement began to spread virally in October 2017 as a hashtag on social media in an attempt to demonstrate the widespread prevalence of sexual assault and harassment, especially in the workplace. It followed sexual-abuse allegations against Harvey Weinstein. Tarana Burke, an American social activist and community organizer, began using the phrase «Me Too» as early as 2006, and the phrase was later popularized by American actress Alyssa Milano, on Twitter in 2017.

Tarana Burke, a social activist and community organizer, began using the phrase «Me Too» in 2006, on the Myspace social network as part of a campaign to promote «empowerment through empathy» among women of colour who have experienced sexual abuse, particularly within underprivileged communities.

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